No, this
isn’t an idea for a new fostering recruitment campaign, but it is something we
hear a lot especially around December time.
We receive
well meaning calls from people who feel they have a spare place at their table
and in their hearts for Christmas, and call to invite one of the children in
our care to join them for the festive period.
To slightly adapt a well known slogan from an
awareness campaign “a child is for life, not just for Christmas”.
Why not I
hear you cry? Well for a moment put yourself in the shoes of the child, the
chances are they have had a difficult life so far, they may have limited or no
contact with their birth family, they may be in residential care or maybe they
have been moved from one foster care home to another and then to another and
then to another (and so on). Then the nights draw in, the TV is dominated with
adverts for Christmas gifts and the windows of all the houses they pass on the
way to school, display well decorated trees and twinkling lights… and then they
receive a call asking if they would like to join a family of strangers for the
day. Yes it does sound like a lovely and well meaning invite, but a child or
young person who has had disruption and major challenges in their life may be
able to understand the good intentions and wonder why they can’t stay the rest
of the year and why they can only go for a day.
If you still
think this is a good idea and you think we’re being party poopers, try and
imagine how the day will pan out. The house is busy with preparations for
Christmas lunch taking place; someone will be in the kitchen ploughing through
vegetable peeling duties and watching the Turkey in the oven. Any children in
the house will be over excited with the occasion; playing with their toys,
eating more chocolate than they are usually allowed and are probably tired
having got up early to see if Santa’s been yet. The noise levels at Christmas
always seem to be higher than usual; the television is on, computer games being
played and Christmas Carols in the background.... and then the relatives
arrive, bringing with them more noise, chaos and presents for the household.
As the day continues, being on best behaviours, tiredness and over indulging at
the Christmas table can all take its toll and tempers may be a little frayed;
debates over who’s doing the washing up, too much mulled wine has been drunk
and the children are squabbling.. all of this may seem normal to you and your
family but it can be difficult situation for a child or young person who has
never met you before.. and even if they have wonderful time, joined in with all
the festivities, played nicely with your children and were polite to your
Auntie Ethel, what then? They get picked up at end of the day, returned to
their residential home.. and back to their reality.
A bit harsh
I know but if you genuinely are interested in giving a child a place at your
Christmas table, why not also for the other 364 days of the year?
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